Signs? I have my reservations...

I have seen the signs... and they are everywhere.

Fortunately, so has everyone else to the point of complacency. There are so many "official" signs that no one bothers to check them anymore unless they are directly affected, and as we all know NOW, they never question authority; they blindly follow all directions and accept their discomfort and fate, blindly.

Enter the conference room reservation schedule.

These are put on the front of the conference room door every morning by the Receptionist, under penalty of DEATH!

Side note- Anyone who tries to make the case to me that Receptionist is an easy job, obviously has never done it. At one point our management, in its infinite wisdom, thought that the "Receptionist" position could be done on a rotating schedule. I refused my turn stating my position that this is a difficult and stressful occupation for which I haven't been trained, nor was hired for in my job description, nor would I ever apply for sober. I was told that by refusing, my job could be "in jeopardy" since the case could be made I was being, "insubordinate".

I made sure to copy my reply and further refusal to Sr. Legal, the CEO, the COO, the CFO, the Chairman of the board and of course, my boss. To this day, I have not had to do any receptionist duties. Moving on..

So what if you wanted your own office instead of a cubicle? A nice conference room sized office, quiet and without any neighbors to speak of. Luxurious leather chairs, a giant table to work from, an LCD projector for big screen entertainment, a giant wipe off board with a rainbow of colored wipe off markers, and a high quality speaker phone. How would you accomplish this?

Its easier than you might think.

Take the reservation sheet that is taped on the door and photocopy it.

Open a "notepad" and type "Sales conference call STFU - CBS".

Yes, it means what you think, but the "C" is for "complete" - anyway now print it.

Cut it out from the newly printed page and use some "scotch tape" to adhere to one of the lines early in the day, run to the photocopier, and VOILA you have a BOOKED conference room for as long as you wish!

Oh yes, they will scramble to figure out how that got booked yet it vanished from our conference room booking software! Obviously its real because the sign says so! Who makes a sign, and how else would they do it? Its IMPOSSIBLE! No one told them but they HAD to have used the computer because here it is! It EXISTS! Its in print! Its the law; ITS BOOKED, and we can't change it at this late date.... you will SIMPLY have to reschedule.

Tranquility is the mode I operated under today. I made a few high powered phone calls to some high powered people, from my high powered office. That, or I made some lunch plans with friends, but either or, I mean what's the damn difference? Its my office for the day, and when I leave, the non-existent sales person will have to explain themselves.

My clever rebuttal for "You were in the conference room all day weren't you?" will read something like this:

Nuh uh.